I don’t even know how to explain why I’ve been so AWOL recently… I’d had SO many plans and ambitions for myself after I finished uni but time just seems to have evaporated and I’ve done nothing. I mean, I’ve not even cleaned my room (which is now in a similar state to the “dirty girl” apartment out of Friends lmao).
Recently I’ve just felt a little lost. Sometimes it feels like everybody has a plan for their lives, or an end goal their working towards. I’ve always imagined that I would end up as a teacher after uni, and I even have my PGCE lined up for September.
But is that all there is?
I started blogging at the beginning of this year, and it truly has changed everything. While I originally intended for it to be all about fashion (with the occasional travel post), it’s grown to mean so much more to me. I think there’s so much to be said on the issues which surround modern society that I’d love to be an advocate for. Obviously fashion will always be my passion (lol rhyme), but I love discussing topics like self-confidence, body issues and mental health. As someone who has suffered with all three, I really want to help others realise that they’re not alone.
The advance of social media has meant we see others through their perfect filter. It’s difficult to not let it get to you and affect your own self image. I think it’s important to be real online, and that’s what I’d like to do.
If you’d have told me in primary school that one day I’d grow up to post pictures like the ones I do on instagram, I’d probably never have believed you. I had such low confidence throughout my time at school and I tackled it by restricting my calorie intake to dangerous levels. I was severely unhappy, lonely and was suffering with an eating disorder. It was one of the worst times of my life, yet nobody knew – I hid everything from my family and friends.
I know there are so many people who still suffer with the problems I did back then that I know I could help. It sounds ridiculous coming from a (novice) fashion-blogger, but I know if I’d have had that influence when I was younger, I may not have resorted to anorexia in the first place.
So… where do I go from here?
This is the question I keep asking myself, and it’s what has been getting me down recently. I don’t know what to do with myself! I’d love nothing more than to become a full-time blogger, an instagram influencer who could positively impact the younger generation… but it isn’t that easy. Life is dictated by finance, earning a living. It isn’t as simple as just doing what you want… following your dreams.
For now, I am just biding my time and carrying on, but I need your advice… where do I go from here?